As Long As I'm Laughing With You
by 88Ashley88
Summary: All that I'm after is a life full of laughter as long as I'm laughing with you. And I think that all that still matters is love ever after after the life we've been through. Cause I know there's no life after you. One Shot
I'm back with another one shot. I got this idea from last night's episode and I'll just tell you, it's really nothing but fluff. So I hope you're OK with that.

It shifts from Jay's POV to third person.

Enjoy

I own nothing with Chicago PD.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I rub the sleep from my eyes as the sun intrudes through the breezy curtains at the foot of the room. I draw in a deep breath and expel a yawn as I stretch the sleep from my muscles. As I'm about halfway through the stretch, I realize that I'm not alone. I look over at my wife, who is sleeping peacefully beside me, her slumber undisturbed by my waking ritual.

My wife.

I smile to myself for the second time in as many seconds.

I look down at my hands, hesitating just above her head. I want so badly to clear the hair away from her face so I can look at her. I see my wedding band, positioned on my left hand, like it's always been there, and smile again. I'm going to be grinning like an idiot for years. No joke.

She makes a soft noise through parted lips as she wriggles into the covers a little more. I love this woman so much; she's so beautiful and so perfect and I remember last night so well. We didn't go the traditional route of our times; we haven't lived together, she hasn't spent the night at my apartment since we'd set a wedding date.

She read the statistics on couples living together before marriage and then ending up divorced, and said she didn't want to give us any excuse not to work out. So this is the first day I've had the pleasure of waking up with her in my bed.

It's the first day of the rest of my life.

It's been six months since I swallowed my nerves and got down on one knee. It's been the longest six months of my life, knowing that this morning would be coming and not being able to have it; wanting it so bad I could taste it, and yet having to wait. And here we are. Day before yesterday, I thought I was going to explode. Everything was at my fingertips, just a breath away, but I had to be patient. I'm not that patient of a man.

Burgess, being the traditionalist that she tries to deny being, denied us a night together that night, mumbling something about it being bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. And so I stared at the ceiling. I counted sheep, to no avail. I thought about my Trudy Platt in her underwear, which I willingly admit did nothing to help me. If anything it made me more restless. So I resigned myself to staying awake all night, and began counting other things. Remembering kisses, and I love yous, and glances that we shared. I remembered smiles and hugs and goodbyes. I remembered waiting for her to call me when she got home. We'll never have to say goodbye again, and I'll never have to wait by the phone again. She's going to be with me every night. She'll be the last thing I see when I close my eyes, and the first thing I see when I awaken.

She's so beautiful, sleeping peacefully; not knowing I'm watching her, not knowing what an angel I think she is. I've told her hundreds of times, I've taken photographs to try to show her what I see, but she doesn't understand. I don't think she could ever possibly know just how much I love her.

I've loved her through it all, through longing glances across the bullpen, playing house-husband to her need to ALWAYS be the boss, finally having her in my arms only to cool it and lose her, and worst of all, watching her lose someone she cared about and falling into a depression so deep, I was afraid I was never going to see her come out on the other side.

Pulling her out of that rabbit hole was one of the scariest and most rewarding things that's ever happened to me. It was one of the things that led her path back to me and maybe in some way, I'm thankful.

Not thankful to see this woman who has my heart, hurting. But thankful that her walls came down just enough for me to pull her back in.

Last night was more perfect than I could've ever imagined. I know this is so remarkably not butch for a guy, but watching her in the candlelight was the most amazing sight I've ever seen. In my short time with the Intelligence Unit, I've seen some things that I'd only thought were impossible.

But just when I thought that it was impossible for me to love her anymore, just when I thought my heart was full, she proved me wrong. I'll love her a little more every day of my life.

I can't imagine the things to come for me and this woman. To see her not only as my wife, but as the mother of my children, and one day the grandmother to our children's children. I can't wait to experience all life has to offer with her.

I know I make it sound like I've somehow saved her, but the realitiy is...

She saved me.

She was the one that I finally was able to confess all the dark things in my past to. And the fear that I had that she would leave me or judge me disappeared as soon as I saw that look in her eyes.

Love.

Support.

Understanding.

I knew I was in love with her pretty much as soon as we rekindled things. At least that's what I tell her.

The truth is, I knew as soon as I saw her, that there was nobody else for me.

There was no hiding it from our coworkers, or Hank, or anyone else. And with it came relief. We of course kept it professional at work, not so much professional at home.

When I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, it was after I'd taken the job working with Brianna Logan and the tragic death of my friend, Terry.

I remember sitting in the church for the funeral in my uniform and she reached over and took my hand. It's all she had to do and I knew.

Her hand fit perfectly in mine and her ability to calm me like no one else can just made it all the more clear.

I was going to make her my wife.

It dawns on me that she's smiling shyly as she buries her head in the pillow.

"What are you doing that for?" I say softly as I reach over and pull her hair back so I can kiss her cheek.

"You were staring."

"I'm sorry." I say. "But you're beautiful."

"How can I possibly be beautiful? I spent fifteen hours on my feet yesterday, and my hair in permanently glued into curls. Besides that, I'm naked under the blankets."

I ignore her soft voice and its protests as I lay my body on top of hers. "How did you sleep?"

"It was the best night I've ever had." She says, rolling over to face me. "You?"

"The only thing better was waking up next to you this morning." She smiles and blushes and tries to hide again, but I softly hold her face so she can't move. "And knowing that it was the first of many. Good morning, Mrs. Halstead. It's a beautiful day."

"Is it now?" Erin asked as she turned her head to the side and squinted towards the sunlight coming in the hotel window as Jay started to kiss her neck. "I don't really know how you can tell. I mean us being in here and the weather is out there"

Erin groaned as Jay continued to kiss her neck and she smiled as she felt him talk against her neck

"Take my word for it" Jay whispered before turning his head up to kiss her.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Erin rolled over in bed, groaning at the thought of getting up. She ran her fingers along the empty spot next to her which was now only a warm imprint of him.

Her fingers rolled over a slip of cardstock and she smiled when she read what he'd written.

 _Dinner 7:00. Be Ready_

She slowly made her way to the bathroom, noticing the empty glass and wine bottle that was set on her nightstand. Next to it, was a picture of a cellphone with a wallpaper of a very attractive young man placing a gentle kiss on the forehead of a smiling beauty.

Once in the bathroom, Erin turned on the shower. Getting in, she let the scalding hot water beat down on her back.

She squeezed a dime size amount of shampoo onto her hand and fiercely rubbed it into her hair. The smell of wild flowers overcame her. He loved the smell of her hair.

Once Erin was done showering she dried off with the towel and then pulled her silky robe tight around her lean body. He preferred her naked and natural.

She padded her way over to her suitcase, searching for the appropriate thing to wear today. After all, it was their honeymoon, and the least she could do was look presentable. Erin settled on a simple black dress she had bought a couple years ago on a trip they had taken to New York. She smiled, remembering that day.

She had forced him to go shopping with her, insisting he help carry her bags and look for possible purchases. However, Erin knew he wouldnt be much help in the way of fashion. After turning down his offers of an ass-bearing black leather skirt and cherry red, skin tight tube top, Erin was surprised when he handed her an elegant black dress to try on.

Erin had shyly come out of the dressing room to model it for him. He stared at her for a few moments, then said,

"Damn Er, how did I get so lucky?" He kissed her on the forehead, then added, "You're beautiful"

He insisted on buying Erin the dress and later she returned the favor with a quiet evening in their hotel room.

Once Erin put on the dress, she reached for her make up bag. He always said that she was most beautiful without much make up. To please him she left herself natural, applying only a swipe of lip gloss and mascara. She slipped on a bracelet Camille had given her that she only wore on special occasions. After running a comb through her dirty blonde hair, Erin grabbed her purse and room key, deciding her hair could air dry. After all, he liked it like that best.

Erin walked out of the hotel room and down to the lobby of their hotel in The Bahamas.

The sun was starting to set painting red, orange, yellow and purple across the sky and the sound of the waves going in and out across the sand mixed with the summer breeze that brushed across her skin.

She scanned the crowd as she looked for her husband.

Husband.

There's a word that Erin Lindsay, wait, Erin Halstead, never thought she'd use.

How she'd ever been so lucky to have such an amazing man that she loved more than she'd ever thought possible was beyond her.

He was her everything and she knew she'd spend the rest of her days trying to be the same for him.

Jay Halstead was the epitome of everything a man should be.

He never once passed judgement upon her and for that she was thankful.

Because of him she felt happy, safe, loved...complete.

She walked around the resort and she spotted him standing by the dock looking at the sunset. Her smile grew when she walked up to him and watched as he turned to her.

"I was afraid you were going to sleep in" Jay said with a laugh "I mean, I know I'm great at sex, but I didn't think I was that good. I was almost afraid you were dead"

Erin frowned and playfully hit him on the shoulder "I did do some of the work. But it didn't last long enough for you to remember that"

"Ouch" Jay said as he wrapped his arm around Erin's shoulder. "Glad to see marriage hasn't changed that Erin Lindsay wit. Gonna love spending the rest of my life listening to that"

Erin nodded as she and Jay made their way towards the beach where they wer having dinner. "I mean, if you want to end it, we can always go back to Chicago single. I can always see what Kelly's up to...maybe find Landon."

"Keep talking you might just get your wish" Jay sighed.

Erin laughed as they made it to the table and she smiled as Jay pulled her chair out for her. "You know I'm only teasing"

Jay moved to his own chair and took a seat as he grabbed his menu "Good, cause I hear Brianna Logan still wants to screw me"

Jay watched as Erin raised an eyebrow as she challenged him back. "If marijuana dispensars with tops two sizes too small are what you're after. By all means"

Jay's gaze met Erin's and they both smiled. Erin sat her menu down and she slipped her shoe off and ran her foot up Jay's leg and in the inside of his thigh.

Jay choked on the drink of water he'd just swallowed and he reached down and gently grasped her foot.

"Not fair" Jay said as he carrowed his eyes across the table.

"Don't tease me, and I won't tease you" Erin said with a raise of her eyebrow.

"Fair enough" Jay said.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Jay pointed the remote at the television and flipped the channels desperately searching for something to watch. He was wearing sweats and a t-shirt and had his feet resting on the coffee table when the bathroom door opened and Erin walked in.

"Hey." She smiled as she walked over to him.

Jay looked up at her and his eyes softened. "Hey baby," he said softly as he reached for her hand. He pulled her down onto his lap and she straddled his thighs. Erin leaned her face down and kissed him, her lips just barely brushing his. Jay sighed into her mouth as his fingers caressed her thighs softly through the fabric of her pajama pants.

Erin finally pulled away and leaned back. "Do you want any room service? Are you hungry?."

"No thanks."

Erin leaned forward and rested her head on his chest.

"Er? Are you all right? What is it love?" Jay rubbed her back gently, his hand making small circles over the soft material of her sweater.

"I just feel so bad for Kim. She's so alone right now because Adam is such a prick."

"I know Er. He's a complete ass. Kevin and I were talking about him a little while ago outside and neither one of us can understand how he can treat her the way he does."

Erin nodded her head as she slipped off his lap and laid back on the couch, resting her feet on his thighs.

"So much has changed in the last two years Jay. Kim used to be so strong, telling the world, including Adam, to go to hell if that's what she felt like. Now, it's like she's a shell of her former self and it's all because of him. He's made her doubt herself and her worth, making her believe that she's nothing without him and it makes me want to slap him Jay. And his jealousy over Roman is a little bit too much. Adam made his choice and now he has to live with it"

"I know Er. I agree." Jay agreed as he brought one her feet to his lips and he kissed her ankle softly. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

Erin's lips curled up into a soft smile as she felt a warmth spread through her entire body from his heartfelt question.

"Yes, you have, but I never tire of hearing it." Erin admitted as she discretely slid the foot that was still resting on his legs a little closer to his crotch.

Jay felt her movement and placed her foot back on his legs but didn't stop her from her task. Erin's toes reached his crotch and she caressed him through the cotton of his sweats, his body instantly reacting to her soft touch.

"Erin," he growled softly as his eyes darkened slightly as he pulled her foot away from his lap. "Unless we're in for good, don't go starting something you can't finish."

Erin giggled as she sat up and pulled her feet off his lap.

She reached down for her shoes and slipped then back on.

"Okay, I'll stop. I think I might want to go to that show in the theater later."

She moved next to him and he wrapped his arms around her as she settled against his side. Jay bent his head and kissed the soft skin of her neck just above the collar of her tank top.

"Unless you want to stay in?" Erin sighed the words as her head tilted slightly to give his lips better access to her neck. The way they teased and touched each other all the time was like constant foreplay and they always seemed to be in a perpetual state of arousal when they were together.

It drove them both insane with wanting each other all the time but they couldn't help it. It wasn't possible for them not to touch. It was an immeasurable, innate need like food or water or air.

Jay kept his lips against her neck and just inhaled her scent. He didn't want to move so he spoke against her skin, the movement of his lips tickling her as he spoke.

Jay chuckled and nipped her skin with his teeth. "I was waiting for you to ask me."

Erin turned her head to give him a sidelong glance. "Uh huh."

Jay lifted his hand to her cheek and turned her face to his. He lowered his mouth to hers and slipped his tongue between her lips. Erin's eyes fell closed as she opened her mouth, a soft sigh escaping her lips as her tongue met his in a soft deep kiss. Jay slid his tongue along her teeth and gums, tasting her as Erin bit his tongue softly and elicited a low groan from him.

Erin finally pulled her lips away in need of oxygen and she opened her eyes once again to look up at him. "Well I am going to go get ready then."

Jay's eyes were hazy and he had to shake his head to clear them before he could speak again.

"Erin, I was thinking tonight. And there is something I need to say to you."

Erin sat up and turned to face him. "Okay," she said softly and waited for him to speak again.

"When we were talking about having a baby at dinner, I said I didn't think we were ready for it."

Erin nodded as she smiled. "And you were right Jay. I was just feeling the tug of my maternal instincts because of seeing Justin and Olive with their baby at the wedding. I'm all right now though."

"I know what it was Er. But I just wanted to make sure that you know that when I said that you and I weren't ready, I didn't mean, you and I," Jay motioned between them with his finger, "as is our relationship. I meant our life, everything that's external to us."

Erin's brow furrowed slightly as she waited for him to explain further. Jay sighed as he tried to find the right words.

"Erin, I've never felt more ready, emotionally, to start our family. I have never felt as close or as in love with you as I am right now. Every day I fall more in love with you and we've been through a so much and we've survived it all. It's made us and our relationship stronger. I just don't want you to do anything that might interfere with your dreams, our dreams."

Erin smiled, her eyes crinkling in the corners from how wide it was. "Jay, I agree with you. However, if I found out I was pregnant tomorrow I'd be the happiest woman alive. We'd have to make some drastic changes in our lives, changes I would willingly make. But our lives right now are too busy to deliberately make a change like that. I know I pouted for a while after we talked about it, but like I said, I know you're right. I just had to let my emotions and hormones catch up with my reason."

Erin cocked her head to the side. "What made you bring that up tonight?"

"Something Kim said to me just got me thinking. I wanted to make sure you understood that I want nothing more than to have a family with you. And when the time is right, it will happen. I just needed you to know that it wasn't that I didn't want a baby, I just wanted to make sure that we're both ready for it. I don't ever want to take any chances with you or our family because those are the most important things in my life. Without you, nothing else matters."

"Kim told you about Gaby wanting a baby, huh?"

Jay nodded. "Yeah. And Casey's scared shitless."

"Erin laughed. "It figures."

Jay ran his fingers along his lips like he was zipping them.

"No comment. There is no response to that comment that won't get me into so much trouble that I end up sleeping on the couch tonight."

Erin threw her arms around Jay and hugged him tight as she laughed at him.

"I love you Jay. I don't know what I've done to deserve you, but I thank God every night for you."

Jay chuckled against her ear as his arms tightened around her. "Actually you've called me God this entire honeymoon so far. There's a difference."

Erin pushed him away and stood up. "In your dreams, pal. Now I'm going to get ready for the show."

Jay looked at Erin and grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into his lap and she laughed as he brushed his hand across her neck.

"Anytime you're ready for a baby. You just say the word"

Erin smiled and nodded as Jay leaned down and kissed her. The idea of the show was soon forgotten as Jay picked Erin up off the couch and carried her to the bed.

The moonlight shown through the window of their hotel room and Jay ran his fingers down Erin's bare back as they laid in a comfortable silence.

Erin looked at her ring as it caught the moonlight and sparkled and she smiled as she felt Jay kiss her on top of her head.

She had thought back to their conversation and everything that life had thrown at them thus far. And how somehow they'd made it through together.

And then she thought of all the things to come and Jay's words that rang in her ears.

"Anytime you're ready, tell me"

Erin rested her head on his chest as they held each other close. Jay bent and kissed the top of her head once again.

Erin closed her eyes and she spoke softly. "Jay?"

"Yes love?" he murmured against her hair.

"I want to have a baby."

And with those six words a new adventure would soon begin.

 ***~The End~***


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